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Tuesday 30 March 2010

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The Christopher Hitchens Web

The Skeptic's Annonated Bible... 1-10 Absurdities


The first 10 Absurdities in The Bible... Genesis From...
The Skeptics Annonated Bible


1.God creates light and separates light from darkness, and day from night, on the first day. Yet he didn't make the light producing objects (the sun and the stars) until the fourth day (1:14-19). 1:3-5

2.God spends one-sixth of his entire creative effort (the second day) working on a solid firmament. This strange structure, which God calls heaven, is intended to separate the higher waters from the lower waters. 1:6-8

3.Plants are made on the third day before there was a sun to drive their photosynthetic processes (1:14-19). 1:11

4.In an apparent endorsement of astrology, God places the sun, moon, and stars in the firmament so that they can be used "for signs". This, of course, is exactly what astrologers do: read "the signs" in the Zodiac in an effort to predict what will happen on Earth. 1:14

5."He made the stars also." God spends a day making light (before making the stars) and separating light from darkness; then, at the end of a hard day's work, and almost as an afterthought, he makes the trillions of stars. 1:16

6."And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth." 1:17

7.God commands us to "be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over ... every living thing that moveth upon the earth." 1:28

8."I have given you every herb ... and every tree ... for meat."
Since many plants have evolved poisons to protect against animals that would like to eat them, God's advice is more than a little reckless. Would you tell your children to go out in the garden and eat whatever plants they encounter? Of course not. But then, you are much nicer and smarter than God. 1:29

9."He rested."
Even God gets tired sometimes. 2:2

10."The tree of life ... and the tree of knowledge of good and evil."
God created two magic trees: the tree of life and the tree of knowledge. Eat from the the first, and you live forever (3:22); eat from the second and you'll die the same day (2:17). (Or that's what God said, anyway. Adam ate from the tree of knowledge and lived for another 930 years or so (5:5). But he never got a change to eat from the tree of life. God prevented him from eating from the tree of life before Adam could eat from the tree, become a god, and live forever.) 2:9

Hey ho, and this is just the beginning!!!

Monday 22 March 2010

Jill Mytton Interview - Richard Dawkins

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXA7GA9yntc

This is a link to the Uncut interview from channel 4 TV program 'The Root of All Evil' hosted by Richard Dawkins.

Jill Mytton left a religious cult as a young adult, and now helps counsel people who are struggling with life after leaving cult environments.

Saturday 13 March 2010

My Destructive Indoctrination

The following text was taken from the book "Depression" by Dorothy Rowe.
But I have adapted it to fit with my life at the time of my depression.
Because Dorothy understands Depression so well, I thought she was writing about me...
I would like to take this opportunity to thank her by helping me understand what my
illness was all about.

My Destructive Indoctrination
Depression for me was a period of unhappy withdrawal, an uncomfortable hibernation.
And I didn't know it.
No compassion could pierce the wall that separated me from the outside world.
Depression is a prison where I was both, the prisoner and the cruel jailer.
The turmoil of my feelings was so great, that it was impossible to know where to begin to describe them. So I stayed silent. I was enduring a lonely isolation.
Inside the 'prison' (depression), I had the feeling of imminent death.
When I told my friends that I was damned, they told me I was not, that God was not like that!
They did not know what it was like! "The Fear". In the middle of the night,
When all was quiet and I could only hear my thoughts!.
The fear of God in my life! Undermining my confidence, until the smallest decision;
What shall I think? "What shall I wear? What will I eat? Who will I talk to? Became an impossibly difficult task.
Sometimes the fear brought guilt, I felt as if I'd failed as a mother, sister, wife, daughter, friend.
I felt guilty for being depressed. I longed for death to bring me peace, and feared death,
that it might bring something worse than life itself.
I hated myself for being unable to love my husband!
Irritable and miserable, I pushed people away from me.
I tried to smile and be ordinary but the pretence is so wearing and inside I was silently screaming.
My family couldn't understand my anger, fear and emotions!
The smallest thing like an unmade bed, a loud noise, could provoke me into a rage.
Till it got that it didn't matter any more.
I had so many mood swings.
I thought that when they got angry with me, that they disliked me and would never forgive me.
I very rarely forgave myself.
I very soon spent more time in my bed. I was weak and scared. So I built a wall around me.
I felt an empty void inside me.
Felt guilty so punished myself by staying in bed as much as possible.
Felt frightened, angry, guilty for feeling angry.
Blamed myself, felt more guilt, anger, fear and so on forever and ever.
It felt like no-way out, and I forbid myself the key that would unlock the door.
I would know no peace until God forgives me and I forgive myself.

The one torture (punishment) that I allowed myself was "Solitary Confinement"
When Isolated I suffered. The longer I stayed in solitary the greater the torture became.
I thought I deserved it! And didn't want to face anything any more.
I went through most of my life believing that I was not good enough!
I was always being told that "I was filth before God".
I felt nervous with outsiders, just in case they took the Lord's name in vain,
or made a joke about God.
I dare not laugh, always solemn. I didn't want to put my life or rather 'soul' at risk!
The burden on my heart became the prison walls of depression.
I could not find any relief or peace in my life, the feeling of fear and hell NEVER went away.
I lost interest in everyday things, cooking, cleaning, reading, eating and TV.
I felt very sensitive and hurt easily. People did not understand how I felt.
I didn't know I was suffering from depression! I just felt so alone.
I could not cope any more. I stopped eating and lost a lot of weight and no one noticed.
That made me feel more worthless, but my family were to wrapped up in their own lives and I suffered silently.
When I realized that I was depressed! I was afraid.
Afraid that I'd plunge further into a bottomless pit of complete destruction, madness and death.
Dangers threatened me if I left this depression because I'd have to start dealing with things.
I didn't know how to deal with things!
It wasn't comfortable but at least it was 'safe'! Decisions, Decisions!
I was scared to make changes, especially in my marriage;
I found it hard to admit that my marriage was not everything that I wanted it to be.
I knew I had to stay within the marriage in the eyes of God!
The effect depression had on my body was bad.
Tremors, headaches, stomach pains constipation, weight loss, forgetfulness etc.
I had panic attacks, thought that I was dying with any and every pain I had!
I ended up in a psychiatric Hospital from Dec 1998 -Feb 1999.
I had to fight the demons! But my demon was God!
I look forward to the day when the prison walls come tumbling down.
One day I will look around me and find the walls have gone
and the world is right there, near me and that I am part of the world.
Being more aware of the present, instead of thinking of the past or worrying about the future.
Just paying attention to the here and now, the flavour of food, the sound of the birds,
listening to people, just being part of the "normal world" again.



Susan Casey 1999





A CRY FOR FREEDOM

A million thoughts race through my head.
Can't concentrate, on what's being said.
Don't feel hate, don't feel love.
Don't even care about God above.
What's happening around about?
Don't want to know, just blank it out.
Deaf ears and tunnel vision.
Has become a conscious decision
Whose life is it, without a doubt?
Same routine, day in day out.
I've got to get out of this dark hole!
And pray to God to save my soul.
I won't feel guilty all the time.
Just to live! Is that a crime?
I need forgiveness, a need to be free!
Please! I only want to be me!



Susan Casey (c) 1999






Inside

Frantic thoughts inside my head
Especially when I'm in my bed
In the darkness, no one can see
Inside my head, only me
It's like the wires have crossed and fused
So many colours all bemused
Fear and terror, death and sadness
I need to break free of this madness
I feel so trapped, in this persistent dream
No one can hear my  ‘Silent Scream’
One by one, I'll put it right
I know it'll be a long hard fight
What will I do? Where will I go?
I'll have to learn to take it slow
Because only I know what's in my head!
Especially when I'm in my bed.



Susan Casey (c) 1999

My Story





Are you trying! To walk away from your belief's?


You do not have to - Feel guilty!




This blog is not meant to 

Destroy Your belief in Your God

"If your are happy with your god"!

It is more to do with the:- 

"Fundamentalist way of preaching".

Now, I do not believe in ANY "God".


After all, 

No-one has came back

To tell us "The Truth"

Have They??



1976

This is where my nightmare began!


When I was 17 years old, I was relatively care free and didn't think much about God. I was dating my then boyfriend, since I was 16 years old.


I used to go to visit my older sister often, who at that time was into 'contacting the spirits'?
It was just a bit of fun (kids stuff)...or so I thought! Strange things did happen, but I never took it seriously. At that time there was, a group of - 'Born Again Christians' in the area where I lived. I'd never heard anything about them before, although I knew them as old neighbours.
I didn't know that they were part of this Christian group, until one day I was approached by one of them.


I was asked, "what I thought of God?" Etc. To which I replied, "I didn't know but told them that I was contacting the spirit world".

Well!...
Shock, horror! I was told that it was very dangerous and that I was really 
contacting 'Satan' himself and that I was being deluded into thinking that it was one of my family. They told me I'd better stay clear of all that stuff. They invited me to one of their house meetings. I admit, what they said did frighten me, but, did I believe in God??

I thought about it and went along anyway I just thought it was going to be your everyday kind of church, singing hymns and reading phrases out of
the bible... 'God loves you' and all that!


Well! Oh yes, I was told "God loves me"... and the rest!
I'd never heard the bible preached like that before! It scared the living day lights out of me. I thought I was going to die that night and go to (The Furnace of Fire for ever, there men will weep and gnash their teeth: Matt 13;42) (For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life and those who find it are few: Matt 7;14)!

So that started... my sleepless nights... stress and tension and my strive for perfection! (Which I could never achieve). I was now aware that God was watching me! "I was evil and wicked", even tho' "I thought",
I was a nice person. I was kind and caring, I respected my parents.. But, "I was born a sinner" even if I hadn't committed any crime/sin, "I/we were all in Adam when he sinned".

They told me to gather all the books I had in my possession and they made a fire in the back yard and burned them all...

"Other people were dangerous influences" (If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you: John 15;18)
"Satan was working on me... I had to get right with God"?"Time was running out".. The Lord could come back at any time and I was not ready"! (Therefore you also must be ready, for the son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect: Matt 24;44).

Now I had to think every moment of the day...Think... Think... Think... and Think again! The "FEAR, NIGHT SWEATS, STRESS AND ANXIETY... were too much to bear! I wanted God to "Save me", I needed God to "Save me".
I tried and tried and tried. I told God I would give up my old life for him... I would love him more than my family.. I would stop sinning (if I could)! I prayed every moment of the day...
until I could pray no more. Tired and exhausted and terrified...
I would eventually fall asleep, not knowing if I would wake up
again? This went on for the next 25 and more years.. I say 25 years, but even 15 years after walking away from it all I still believed, and it still badly affected me.

Now I am over 60 years old, and still can't travel very well, I am agoraphobic.

I have sleep problems and still on anti-depressants... I can barely believe it myself! I don't know how I got through life... but I do really...FEAR!


Just before that time I had just started to sleep with my then
boyfriend! He was the first man I'd slept with... So then I
thought now I would have to marry him because I couldn't
have any other sexual relations with any other man... in God's
eyes that would be adultery... (Don't get me wrong, I did love
my then boyfriend, who later became my husband) but I
thought I had no other option. We stayed married for 20 years
and in 1998 separated. I was told if I got "Saved" I'd then
be a "Christian". Also if my husband rejected the gospel, then
I would have to consider leaving him because:-"Christian vs Non Christian" marriage's won't work! Eh! So I thought 'no matter what I had to stay with him and/or never be with another man again! Now at that time I wasn't thinking
anything of the kind anyway, but it left me no choice!



No matter how hard I tried, I could never "Feel Saved", I was told to "stop trying and just do it", I "would know when I was saved" because God gives 'assurance of salvation'. (He has put his seal upon us and given us his spirit in our hearts as a Guarantee: Corinth 1:22). 

I never knew... I never felt saved! And also If I didn't get "Saved Right Now" God might give up on me and leave me to my worldly sins! And harden my heart to the Gospel!..
(This people honours me with their lips, but their heart is far from me, in vain do they worship me: Mark 7;6). What! Eh! Help!... Now I was in deep trouble... I had no way out... but to be "Saved"!

(He who believes and is baptized will be saved, he who does not believe will be condemned:Mark 16;16. I thought! I was, thinking, doing, being, what God asked! But still never felt "Saved".
(Why do you call me 'lord, lord' and do not do what I tell you?:Luke 6;46).


This might give you an idea of what were the beginnings and continued fears about my life. Through all this I managed to raise a family (I think that is what kept me sane or at least functional)! It was hard tho' because I had to inflict my views on my children but not wishing to terrify them the way I had been, but could not lie to them about the facts... It was very hard... I was also made to feel accountable for my family and friends in telling them about the"truth",
(Even tho' I was not a "Christian" (saved) myself, I still had to preach).

They, (my family and friends) were not interested! Which made me feel scared for them and Isolated. I had friends but could not really share my biggest fears with them, because they didn't understand. My friends were/are lovely people, who are kind, caring, good people. "Just not Christian"...
Everything outside 'their' Born Again Beliefs... "Was not of God or was evil"...
Even the church going people that I knew very well! (Beware of false prophets: Matt 7;15), (Many will come in my name saying -
"I am he and they will lead many astray":Mark 13;6).

When my dad died in 1990, they told me he would be in hell because he was not a Christian...

I had recurring nightmares for months after that... Could not cope with it, but had to believe it, because it said so in the bible!

I did keep busy in my life, by getting involved with community projects.
Even though in my mind I could think of nothing else but being saved.
So in a way it was a slight distraction for me especially to the people outside my world, because that's how it felt. (Like I was on another planet).
Hardly anyone I knew was in the same position as me.
So I felt very isolated.
Keeping busy was a good cover up and got me through life in general, But there would always be...
'Every day and every night' the fear chipping
away at me inside. ("You are not saved". "You are going to hell").
How could I share my thoughts with my friends and family of my true fears!
They would think I was mad!
When I did talk about it or try to convert other people.
I would only get myself into a worse state of fear because I was
reiterating what I needed myself. I would start to tremble...
Genuinely shake with fear.
I did have good times when I would laugh and have fun and
I enjoyed raising my children.
But guaranteed,
I was never free from my thoughts of...
"Hell and Damnation".
A bit like "Ground-hog Day" for 25 years. (Well over 40 years really)!
25 Years was when I was in the thick of it!

Meanwhile as I tried to cope with everyday things e.g. Family, work, my failing marriage, my health. I started to lose weight and went down to 7 stone (98lb's). Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep couldn't function anymore. Lost interest in everything. My mind had been racing for years and suddenly 'stopped'!
Life took it's toll on me and 25 years later, I ended up separated
from my Husband and in 1998 ended up in a psychiatric
unit with depression for 2 months of my life. That's when I
started to "Question God"! Which terrified me, because
("Who are we to Question God")? I felt suicidal, felt trapped,
because if I died... I would go to... "The Deepest Part of Hell"
Because I knew enough to be "saved" and rejected it.
It felt like Hell that I was living...There was no-way out... I was trapped! I had a breakdown! 

They phoned me while I was in the Psychiatric Hospital and told me it was a 'Sin to be in Despair'! I couldn't even cope with life at that time. I was starving myself and not dealing with anything.


During this 25 year time, I developed a multitude of phobia's...
I could not travel very well... "planes, trains, cars, boats", because I thought I am only putting my life at risk!
And I still wasn't saved yet,

Knowing that God had the power to take my life... Just like that! Made me afraid of everything. I was still scared to travel, became paranoid. Walking down the street was dangerous,
I thought that the next car/bus was going to ram right
into me. And any ailment I had, I thought it might be fatal.

I was a wreck!


Now! so many years down the line, I have improved dramatically, I'm still on anti-depressants, but coping very well.
A lot has happened in the years since deciding that "I didn't want/need God in my life."

It, by no means has been easy. I see a counselor regularly,

I still have issues about "My Beliefs"? It is hard to get rid of
almost 40 years of indoctrination overnight!
I just try to trust in my intuition.
Now and I am widening my knowledge by reading lots of books.

If and when I can, as I find my concentration is not very good...
One in particular book that did help me tremendously is:-


"Leaving The Fold"
by Marlene Winell.
(Highly Recommended)

"The Book Your Church Doesn't
Want You To Read"
by T C Leedom

"Everyday Enlightenment"by Dan Millman
Well worth a read!

Now I live alone, and I'm "happy-ier" Although I live with bouts of depression.
My partner and best friend is also an Ex-Fundy. We support each other and are angry that Fundamentalism nearly destroyed our lives.

The good news is that 'you can recover'! Albeit a slow process...

There is another kinda life out there...
So go and live it and Enjoy!..
You don't have to feel guilty all the time!..

We are good people, who care!..
And that's all that matters.

Here are a few of quotes that I try to keep reminding myself of:-
“Civilization will not attain perfection until the last stone from the last church falls on the last priest” Emile Zola.

Atheism Is A Non-Prophet Organization.

Don't Believe Everything You're Told.

Guilt, Fear, Mass Insanity... 3 Cheers For Christianity...

Its Your Hell You Burn In It!

Jesus is Coming Look Busy!

Anyone Who Claims God Is On Their Side Is Dangerous!

You found God? If nobody claims him in 30 days, He's yours!

Jesus is coming. On three, everyone yell 'Surprise!'

God Protect Me From Your Followers!

Are We Talking About The Same God?

Believing Bullshit Will Not Make it Come True!

God Doesn't Believe in Me Either... Things Even Out!

The Virgin Mary Was An Unwed Teenage Mother!

I Wasn't Created in Your Image of God.

"God made me an atheist. Who are you to question his wisdom?"

I've Studied the Bible, That's why I'm an Atheist!!!

"The Past and The Future Are Only in Our Minds!"

"Be Here Now!"

"Born OK The First Time"

"Fundamentalism Stops A Person Thinking".

"My Job is to Comfort the Disturbed & Disturb the Comfortable".

"My Karma Ran Over MY Dogma".

My answer now is,"Get Un-Born Again"


I have now seen for myself that there are "Too many contradictions" in "The Bible". It Just doesn't add up anymore... Fundamentalists believe that this is "God's Word"?
"Get real Fundy's" Were you there when these "men of God"
were receiving the scriptures?

Fundamentalists believe that "every word is true"?
You know It is not true, it is a man made dictatorship.
So therefore, if you"doubt one word" of the bible.
Then you must"QUESTION THE REST"!!!!